God planned for me to be here

So on my last night in Brazil, I taught my class and shared a story about a hard time. Here is the story.

The bible verse I want to share tonight is Joshua 1:9
⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Tonight's class was hard, it went out of your comfort zone. But when he weak we need to lean on God and trust in him. This past April or May I found out that I lost my job. I was very scared and discouraged. I didn't know what I would do. Many people told me to cancel my trip to Brazil or at least shorten it to two weeks instead of 4. If I stayed a month I would miss out on opportunities for the new school year since most hiring for teachers is in the first 2 weeks of August. I knew that leaving for a month would be a big risk but I prayed to God and said Lord if you need me to go to Brazil for a month I need a good job before the school year ends. After I prayed that prayer I left it in Gods hands and tried my best to not worry. Within the week I got calls for interviews and two weeks later I got a job offer. A job offer to work in a Christian school helping teachers and struggling students. A dream job, a job I didn't think I could get without many more years of experience, I have only been teaching 5 years. But God had more faith in me than I had in myself. When you feel weak or discourage remember he is with you, he has a plan for you and you are LOVED.  He wanted me to be here tonight to be with you, to share this story. 

I still get goose bumps sharing this story because it is so powerful. It changed me and I hope I can continue to work on myself, being the person God created me to be...because whenever I lean in for him, he's always there no matter what.

Day 4 ain't no bore

Sorry I forgot to publish this...

Today I was in a BAD mood, lack of sleep is taking a toll on me. I had really bad allergies and kept waking up, the weather is much colder this year and I haven't packed enough winter clothes to keep me bundled up.

This morning I got to work with two sweet girls with their English. I also worked on a prayer box for each one. It was a cool activity that I am glad I spent the money on. 87 Altoids = $105.00, so I am SUPER grateful that the kids liked it.

We also went to another favella today called Villa Rosa, no classes or bible study only home visits. It was pretty evident to everyone around that I was not in a good place due to the lack of sleep. However, I got asked to come to a one-on-one bible study for a lady. The woman used to have a rough past, drugs, fights, etc. However, she connected with the ministry when they came to do agiatas for the kids. She saw that the ministry really cared for her kids and became interested in the church Restoration Ministries partners up with. She came to church and later accepted Christ, and was baptized. She has made amazing changes in her life, she is one of the most well known helpers to the church and her children have big smiles on their faces. The hardest part of this change has been that her "so-called friends" don't believe she really changed. Her husband did not like her going to church and was even telling her he wouldn't allow it. She asked the ministry what to do and they told her to pray and that they didn't want to hurt her marriage. A few days later her husband told her that she could go to church, that he was ok with it. Ever since then she just dived into Gods word. Her husband doesn't go to church with her but we are all praying that he will. I told her about my life and my husband. I told her that I know we were suppose to meet tonight.

Later that night I taught a conversation class reviewing some of the grammar rules. I had fun and the day ended well.

 

Words are sharper than a knife

This is the testimony I shared with 2 women's bible studies. It's rough draft, so sorry for any typos.

Words can cut us deeper than a knife.

When I was very young my older sister and I got into a fight with words. She ended the fight by telling me "At least I wasn't a mistake." I was only 9 at that time and I didn't understand what that meant. I asked "what do you mean I am a mistake?" She said "the only reason you were born was because you were an accident. Our parents only got married because of you, if you weren't born are parents wouldn't be married and you wouldn't be in my life." I was very hurt and confused. I went to my dad and asked him about what she said. Am I a mistake, I asked him. He said "yes, you weren't planned but if you were a mistake you were the best mistake I ever made." Even though he made me feel better about the comment, those words mistake stayed in my heart.

During my time in school I struggled with learning to read. The school did many tests on me and realized that I had a learning disability. I am dyslexic, I mix letters and words around in myhead  while reading or processing information. Learning was very hard for me, school was not easy. I would see my brother and sisters come home, finish their homework in 30 minutes while it took me 3-5 hours to do my homework. I became frustrated and angry with God about this. It didn't occur to me till many years later when I started tutoring other students who struggled with learning that I really had a blessing in disguise. Once I became an English teacher for students with special needs I began to realize that I saw my students differently than other teachers. I saw their potential, I knew they could learn they just needed someone with more patience. Other teachers would get frustrated by these students and I knew what the students were struggling with because I had been there, I had been one of those students. I know that God did not make a mistake when he made me, he doesn't make mistakes. He gave me this blessing in disguise, so I could understand my students better and be a good teacher for them.

The last story I am going to share is about my mother. She is bipolar, her moods are either very good or very bad. There is no middle with her. When my parents went through a very nasty divorce over 5 years ago there was a lot of name calling and my mom said a lot of things that you can't take back. She told my youngest sister that she never wanted her, that she was free (she is adopted by the way). It got really bad, one day she told me that she wished she would never have had me. That it would have been better if she had an abortion because then she wouldn't have married my father and her life wouldn't be a mess. Those words hurt me deep down to my bones. Those things are the kind of things you don't someone can ever say to their own child. I became very depressed feeling very unwanted or just like another mistake again. It took some time and prayer but I have realized that I am not a mistake. During my parents ugly divorce I came across this poem that really helped me.

 You are who you are for a reason....by *Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb.
You're just what He wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!


After I read psalm 139
¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

God didn't make a mistake when he made you, he made you to be who you are...wonderful and beautiful. Every freckle or birthmark was planned from God. I then gave every woman a bracelet with a cross on it and said that anytime you think about anything negative someone said or you look at yourself in the mirror and can only see the things you don't like, I want you to look down at this bracelet and remember that God is with you, God created you, and God has a plan for you. You are NOT a mistake. 

That was my whole message for both women's groups. The women took away from the message how words are powerful and how they speak to their children does matter. Afterward I prayed for them and asked God to help us give grace to those who have hurt us and for any negative thing we are holding on to, to let it go right now.  It is so funny how you share something and you think you are trying to help them and they end up helping you. Two women came up to me afterward and told me that I am special, that forgiveness is hard but God will help you and that I wasn't a mistake. They also shared how they had gone through the same experiences. Some of the stories made me cry because so often people think words are just words but they are so much more than that...they have power so use them wisely.

Things I will miss

Things that I will miss from Brazil 

1. How warm and loving people are 

2. Getting a kiss on the cheek and a hug for hello and goodbye 

3. Coffee at the end of my meal 

4. A little coffee where ever you go, I will miss those little plastic cafe shot cups that are everywhere 

5. The love for futbol, everyone has a favorite team and player

6. The kids, they were all so cute and so eager to learn & love. I'll never forget the joy  and innocence in their faces

7.  Beans & Rice, yes that is right. After a month I got use to them and am a little sad to see them leave my daily meals. 

8. The random singing that happens when a group of Brazilians are together 

9. The women who work so hard to provide for their families and seem to almost forget about themselves. I will miss praying for them, loving them, and sharing God's word with them. 

10. The sense of community or family where ever you go. 

11. The fruit that is so exotic and only found in Brazil 

12. The amazing juice from the fruit, I love to juice and Brazilians make amazing juice. Passion fruit with mint... I will miss it. 

13. The happiness and joy people have with so little, I will try to live more like that at home. 

That is all I have for now.

Back in the USA

We made it back safely!
Even though I was flagged by security and they looked through my stuff and patted me down...it was all ok. We got to sit next to each other and when we landed in LA, security was fast. I wasn't even questioned. God was totally with us, there is now doubt about that.

Now we are back home, resting as much as we can before Jeff goes back to work on Monday. Luckily I have a week off before I go back. I am planning on using everyday to rest and relax before working full time again.

I am going to be taking the next few blog entries to share some testimony stories. I am going use this space to kind of journal my thoughts, I hope that is ok.

Love you all

Packing for the trip back

Jeff is editing the video right now and I am trying to reflect on this journey God has put me on. God has led every step to this journey, there were many times when it could have been stopped but he came through every step and tonight I was able to share that with my students.

Right now I am trying to process the following questions

What did I learn on this trip?
Where did I see God?
Will I come back?
Where does God see me going?

I signed up for this missing in October, thinking I would just be teaching. However, I had no idea that my mission would prepare me for my future job. A job I am still pinching myself about having.

Ok, I am going to finish packing up and writing cards to ministry staff. I tried to check into my flight today but my name was flagged. I am going to be questioned at the airport by security from the U.S or Brazil...not sure why. All I know is I can't check into my flight and was told I would be questioned for an hour. *sign* Please pray for us to be able to get through security, to check in quickly, for a safe flight, and easy entry back into the U.S.

Love you all!

Tomorrow is our last full day in Brazil

I can't believe I have been here a whole month. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, I still can't believe I did it...and Jeff came with me. He has  A LOT of video to edit and we aren't sure he will finish the project before he leaves. Today was a REALLY hard day for him, please pray for patience, for peace, and God's power to help finish the video. It will be a lot of work tomorrow and I am worried that he is putting too much pressure on himself.

Thank you for the prayers for me and my cold. Today was a much better day, my nose was not a running hose. Thank you so much for everything everyone. We love you all and can't wait to see you again soon.

Promora Slum

Today we visited the slum called Promora. This is one of the most dangerous slums in Sao Paulo but today it was raining all day. So, no agaitas just home visits, bible studies, and giving hugs to kids.

I went to the other side of the slum today where most houses are made from scraps of cardboard, plastic covers. and some thin pieces of wood. Bathrooms are a luxury and the smell made me realize that as well. We went to a home where there was small kitchen and bedroom where a family of 6 live. It tore my heart to see that next to the bed was plastic cover as wall, the ground didn't have floor but parts of concrete. The women who lived there, was very sweet and offered to make us coffee and give us cookies. I found out one of her daughters Victoria is taking English classes with the ministry. She practiced some words and phrases with me. Then she looked all around excited to show me an English book, when she showed me the book it had obviously been found in the trash and was given to the girl. I started to get teary eyed because it just made me realize how so many kids around my country have so much...and this poor girl has so little and here she is holding a torn book like a treasure. I made myself hold my tears back and started reading some words with her in English. She was so sweet and so eager to learn. She then wanted to show me a piece of artwork she created for Fathers Day, she looked around everywhere and realized someone had come into their home and stole it. She started to cry and we all tried to cheer her up. Her family has been through a lot and it so good to see a woman so faithful to God. The family was moved from the government and had been working on getting some money to buy a home away from the slums. The family tried for 8 years and got the grant. I don't know how she wasn't going to give up. God gave her strength and was so faithful.

Later we took Jeff on his first home visit. The woman loves American missionaries, so it was so fun to talk with her about her life, her faith, and to be around such a loving person. We even sang with her, I haven't sang in front of people for many years but every since I have been here during this trip I just feel like God is opening my heart to it again.

I lead another women's group this afternoon. It was a hard topic for me to share, it was about how powerful words can be. I talked about a few times in life that have hurt me and how God showed me that I am not a mistake and he made me wonderfully. I gave each woman a bracelet and told them that every time they heard words that hurt them, to look at it and remember they are wonderfully made. Some of the stories I shared really connected with the women and they appreciated my story. After I prayed for them, two women came up to me and told me about how they had gone through the same pain and that I wasn't a mistake. It is funny to me how God works to use me touch these ladies and they end up touching my heart.

Tonight I taught my job immersion class with a sweet group of students. We practiced good interview skills, handshakes, dress codes, and actual mock interviews. I am going to miss teaching these students but I am really loving ESL and thinking about looking into it at Rock Harbor when I get back.

Here are some pictures from the last class tonight

Pictures from the day before

Sick of being sick

Hey guys,

I am sick. I know I have told you in previous posts but I have 3 more days of teaching small groups, bible studies and English classes. Please please pray for me to heal and to be able to do my best teaching my lessons. I am super bummed that I am so sick and not able to fully enjoy my last few days here.

Other than that...

We went to a traditional BBQ, ate Acai ice cream and worked. I got lots of hugs today sharing a very personal story about how words are sharper than a knife. Tomorrow Jeff will stay at the center and start putting together the whole video. Please pray that everything comes together smoothly he has a LOT of work to do.

We are definitely missing home and are starting to feel the itch of homesickness. 3 more days to go!!!

Dye Wars

The American Missionary group from Bridgeway Church put the camp together and created a game called Dye Wars.

Here is the video for it

Camp California

Here is a slide show from camp. Bridgeway church put the camp together and we filmed it.

Enjoy the memories with us!

Camp California

Birthdays in Brazil are BIG

Yesterday we got to celebrate our friend Ireni's 50th birthday. She is an amazing women who has given her life to Restoration Ministries. She loves all that come into contact with her and by the amount of people who came out to her party, you could feel the love. What touched my heart was all the work everyone helped with. She did all the cooking of the food, people showed up helped decorate, played music for her night, and while everyone was singing happy birthday they counted all the way to 50. Yes, really 1-50. Then they sang to her, prayed for her and it was just so beautiful. Fire works were set off. I hope that I touch people the way she has in her life.


I'll post pictures tomorrow.

Oh if you all could pray for our health, we would really appreciate it. We are both fighting a cold and are in need of some rest.

Thoughts on community service

At the moment, I'm currently enjoying the second four-hour block of free time I've had since arriving in Brazil. The first was spent sleeping, but I thought I'd use this time to catch up on my emails, do some thinking about the trip so far, and generally just try and process what's been going on. Free time or even downtime is something in short supply in Brazil, so I'm taking it where I can.

Overall, it's been a very positive trip. Other than being generally exhausted most of the time, I remain in good spirits and am managing to take everything in stride. One of the most frustrating things about being on mission (at least on this mission ... since it's my first one, it's not exactly a large sample size!) is depending on other people for rides, help with the language barrier, etc. I've been to Paris and Spain before, but Portuguese is by far the most difficult foreign language I've had to deal with. French and Spanish have many similar words and language roots so I've been able to make due. Boeuf vs. Beef? Sure, I can see the similarity there. Por favor, gracias, de nada? Yeah, I've lived in California long enough to pick up a couple of Spanish phrases here and there. But "tudo bem" and "pode escrever isso para mim?" It's been difficult even finding the roots or similarities in words (which is usually what allows me to pick up phrases pretty quickly).

More than that, though, it's tough needing to depend on people not just to help you order your meals or figure out what's what at the grocery store, but also to take you to that grocery store, or shuttle you between where you're sleeping and where you're working. Combine that with a culture that's already very family-oriented and supportive of one another, and every trip home from the ministry is a thirty-minute strategy session about who's taking who, how many people are going, and which stops they're going to make on the way. The Brazilians we've been staying with have been saints making sure that we get everywhere we need to go, and it's tough not to be able to just say, "That's okay; I'll drive myself!" (Even if I had remembered to get my international driver's license, I'm not sure I'd want to drive on the streets of Rio and Sao Paulo ... the streets and other drivers are crazy!)

All that said, though, it's been a remarkably good trip. The kids in the favelas have been amazing, and it's been a privilege to serve with Restoration Ministries' staff, which is full of some of the most selfless, generous, and caring people I've ever met. They genuinely care about the condition of the community around them and have a seemingly endless amount of energy to keep going out, day after day, and serving the community. For a long time, I thought community service was about showing up on a particular day at a particular time and volunteering to do some small task - serving food, handing out gifts, answering phones or helping with office duties, etc. But my time in Brazil has taught me that real community service is about getting to know the people in your community ... especially the needy ... and building relationships with them so that they know they have people who care about them. Like the couple we're staying with, who today (which is Father's Day in Brazil) picked up two young girls from the favelas who lost their father recently, and took them to their family's house for an amazing lunch and spent the rest of the day hanging out with them, watching movies, talking, and giving them a chance to feel cared for on a day that's hard for them.

At the very least, this trip has taught me a new concept of what community service is. In the United States, it can be difficult to build a sense of community when so many of us isolate ourselves from others in our personal lives. Even the most social among us are often reticent to open our homes to strangers ... but I honestly can't imagine going back and continuing to live like that. To see the joy these relationships bring to both the needy and the ones doing the providing, it would be a shame to leave that behind in Brazil and go back to a lifestyle where we worry about opening our home to someone because the guest bedroom is a little messy, or because we were really hoping to just relax this weekend rather than entertain someone in our home. Or even more simply, where we define our community service and assistance to the needy in better, more helpful terms than a framework where we're satisfied with quick donation or a once-in-a-while volunteer experience that basically amount to, "Hey, I'll come to you, do something nice for you for a little while, then leave you there and go back to my home."

The Brazilians I've met have a remarkable selflessness to their lives; I think the world would be a much better place if we could all learn to be a little more Brazilian and not see the people we're helping as separate from ourselves.

Jeff's First Week in Brazil

It's hard to believe that I've been here in Brazil for a week already. The past few days have been a blur... as soon as I got off the plane, we went to the day center and headed out to shoot an agita (a vacation bible school-like activity). The next day, we traveled to Camp California for three days of camp for some of the kids in the favelas where it was pretty much nonstop shooting and quick editing to assemble a slide show and video for the kids before camp was over. We got back from Camp California on Sunday around 5:30PM, went to church at 7PM, and were home by 11PM only to get up again at 3:30AM the next morning and head to Rio de Janeiro for three days. We got home from Rio last night around 2AM, slept until almost noon, and then it was back to the day center for another day of shooting bible study in the favelas and some of the classes offered at the ministry.

Some highlights of the trip so far:

• Visited a place called The Corn Palace which has a variety of items created out of... well, you can probably guess. I tried corn milk and corn ice cream, which were oddly delicious.
• Along the lines of other strange but interesting foods, I can now say I've had passionfruit pudding, an avocado milkshake, and juice from at least a dozen different fruits that I've never seen or heard of before.
• Set foot on the sands and in the waters of Copacabana Beach (surprisingly cold water, even for winter) and saw a panoramic view of Rio from the Christ Redeemer statue.
• Carpooled with nine people (plus luggage!) in a Chevy Captiva (the Brazilian equivalent of a Saturn Vue).
• Filmed kids from the favelas and ministry staff playing a game that involved throwing red food dye at one another. The soccer field ended up looking like a bloodstained battlefield from the movie 300.
• Met some of the nicest, warmest, and most welcoming people. Even though I'm quiet and take a while to warm up to people, I've been treated like family every place I've set foot.

It's getting late so I'll have to post more later, but this really has been an amazing trip. I was originally hoping for a little time away from work and to see some sights... but this trip has honestly been so much more than that. It's been an opportunity to see a larger world and experience new things that I never expected. I'll try to put some of those things into words in the next day or two.

Life on a mission, where are my clean clothes?

Well it has been 3 weeks since I have been in Brazil. Things that I didn't think would get to me did and I am learning that growing is very painful.

Just to note some things I am currently missing at this moment
-Hot water/showers
-Vegtables
-Sleep
-Having a closet of clothes to pick from

Ok done with the complaining...

Things have just been non-stop, last time I wrote was before heading to the mens re-treat. Serving food and cleaning was what the women ended up doing all weekend long. It was great to see the guys connecting, spending time with God, and becoming great friends. Only 1 guy from the slums came but I know a few dads came who don't go to church.

Here is a video of the guys rocking, when they started playing English songs I had to join in. It was nice to sing with people again. I hope this video works. Men's Retreat
Men's retreat


Here are a couple of images from the re-treat!